Others will tell you that certain stages of toddlerhood when the verbal communication is still fine tuning, are the hardest. When you feel you don't understand their needs. The frustration that you both share, yours to understand them, and theirs to try to communicate with you.
Along the way I had a few "Why. but why" moments. Trying to get a glimpse of what is going on in their little heads: when they color all over the wall with permanent markers, flush down a toy in the toilet, when they love certain food one day and not the next, when they wake up too early and are still tired?!
Those are the mysteries that makes you scratches your head. Sometimes it's easy to find what is going on, curiosity is always a big one, or when they are trying to test limits.
With one of my little girl, the mystery was, why is it that every time I ask her to pick up toys or clean up, she sit down on the floor and do NOTHING? For months, was getting frustrated, thinking that she was just being disobedient.
But one day, I asked her find the matching boots and put them in a row along the wall, and she did it joyfully.
That day, I peeked a bit more into her brain. She needs specific instructions. If I ask her siblings to clean up, they can figure out what needs to be done (well, for most parts), but for her, it's like I was talking a different language, and maybe I was.
I now have to train myself when I ask her to do something, to remember how she thinks, and give my instructions accordingly.
How about you, have you ever had moments that you just didn't understand what was going on in their little heads?
Oh yes! My second daughter is a completely different learner than my oldest daughter. Emma (8) will do what needs to be done and a lot of times with little instruction from me. But Sophia (4) needs specific instruction, eye contact, and sometimes an example before it really clicks in her brain what I'm asking her to do. Then she can go about it and accomplish it. If I leave her to herself she will get lost in playland and completely forget I said anything to her. She is an incredibly creative and imaginative child...so maybe that has a little to do with it.:)
ReplyDeleteYour Sophia does really have many similarities with Sarah, she is the emotional artistic day dreaming type that is for sure!
DeleteThere are definitely moments when I wish I had a better understanding of what was going on in my girls' minds! Love how you thought this problem through and figured out how to connect with her!
ReplyDeleteit took months for head scratching!!! Isn't it funny how we seen our kids grow and change yet there is so much mystery on how the whole process unfold :-)
DeleteAll the time! With each of mine, there's just a whole different approach needed. They are all precious!
ReplyDeleteSteph
I know what you mean Steph, I feel like I have to parent 3 different ways. And you are right, they all are so precious!
DeleteHey! Thanks for checking out my blog today. :) Just wanted to jump over to check out yours, too. Love it! Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteBecky @ http://yourmodernfamily.com
I feel ya! A (our middle girl) is being evaluated for a sensory processing disorder, and her mind works in ways we can't understand. Lots of praying! A great reminder that God makes us all different and as parents we should be sensitive to those differences. Thank you for posting!
ReplyDeleteThis particular young lady does not hold eye contact for more then 5 second, and lots of other little sign that has me questioning things. Funny how you can be aware of little details in your child life.
DeleteFor me the label, isn't important, because I refuse to put her in a box, making excuses for her behavior.
My kids are just like your daughter - they do much better with specific instructions!
ReplyDelete