Thursday, August 22, 2013

How to fail your children

Parenting is a huge responsibility and does come with it’s share of ups and downs. We can think that if we read the “right” books or follow a certain list of rules that our children will become strong and healthy well adjusted adults.


Parenting does not come with a magic formula that will guarantee us  success. But using common sense we can do a few things that could be beneficial or detrimental in raising young well adjusted adults.




Disclaimer I do not claim to have all the answers nor that I fully understand the complexity that comes with raising children, these are just things that are reasonable and can be done by anybody.


You can fail your children if you

  • Don’t practice what you preach: Little children do see beyond your words, and actions have a huge impacts on how they absorb information.  Don’t try to make them eat their vegetables if you are not eating yours. Don’t force them to clean their room if you neglect doing your own. etc...
  • Don’t love them: Of course all parents love their children, very few will not have that feeling, but for most of us we LOVE our children. The kinds of love that I am talking about is not a kind love that comes and goes, that is depending of one feeling toward the other. I’m talking about a love that is patient, kind, that always protect, and always persevere. This kinds of love will not let children go on undisciplined, but will rebuke follies.
  • Don’t teach them: Because if YOU don’t do that part, someone else will.
  • Neglect to discipline them: I am not talking about punishment, but real discipline. Little ones need to learn right from wrong, and there's many different ways to do that, but neglecting to do so will not encourage them to make the right decisions.
  • Don’t let them make their own mistakes: They have to understand that there's consequences for all actions, good and bad. This should not give us the permission to turn a blind eye to sin, but we have to let them fail sometime.
  • Don’t repent of your wrongdoing: All of us are not perfect, we are all sinners and we sin against each other. There is something about a parent being able to humble his or herself in front of their children and repent. Trust me this is not as easy as it seems, but we need to remember that it is very important.
  • Neglect praying for them: We shouldn't only pray when time are hard, or we need something, but we need to remember to pray for them when things are good.


But if you want to help them along. Here are a few  “You should's”

  • Be present in your child’s life: Physically, emotionally and spiritually. Your child needs to know that he/she can count on you to be there if they have problems, questions or just need a hug.
  • Be in the Word: Lots of wisdom comes from reading it.
  • Learn to love their hobbies: If your kids is into train, dinosaur or shoes shopping, do please indulge with them in something that will make them feel special. The quality time spend together will have more of an impact then you can imagine!
  • Set some rules: Children and adults all the same, needs to know what is expected of them, and rules are a great way to set boundaries and to know what is expected.
  • Take time to create traditions: Why is it that every time I write the word “Tradition” I HAVE to sing the song from fiddler on the roof, anyone else with me? “Tradition, tradition!” But in all seriousness, making memories, sharing that special time together help the lines of communications to stay open, and that is a very good thing.
  • Give them what they need: And not what they want. Those are 2 different things and mama knows best!!!
  • Be consistent: I know this is a hard one, but must be done.

What would you add to this list????

18 comments:

  1. Great list. And I do that all the time - Tradition, tradition! :)

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    1. So glad that I am not alone doing this hehe!

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  2. This is great. I think I'd add "just spend some time with them." I am "with" my children all the time, but I'm not always engaged with them. Sometimes I'm working in the same room, or on the computer. It is good for them to know how to play by themselves and understand that Mama has her own things to do, of course. I try to make sure I actually play with them for a while every day, though. (They tend to behave better then, too...)

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    1. YES!!! so very true, it is more then being "there" it's the interactions that they need ;-)

      The girls have been enjoying playing Candy Land with me. I agree with the behaving better part of it!

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  3. This is a really excellent post, Renee. And might I add that we need the Holy Spirit's leading when we are parenting our children every day. We need to stop and listen to Him as He helps us remember things from God's Word and specifically how we can disciple each child. And really, this is a GREAT list.

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    1. Thank you Blessed Homemaking, and you are right, we all need God's word to train our children in his ways.

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  4. Really great list. Yes, not being a hypocrite is a big one and apologising for any wrongs. Praying for them when times seem good is also a good reminder. I would add daily responsibilities that help the home run more smoothly and peacefully. Thank you for this post.

    Blessings

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    1. Thank you God-Fearing Mommy. Yes daily responsibilities is a must :-)

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  5. Such wise words from you, my friend!! May we all take them to heart.

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  6. Love your list, thank you for sharing. I have always found consistency the hardest, but am becoming more of a prayer warrior. Stopping by from Teach Me Tuesdays. Have a blessed week. Tara.

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    1. Yes, consistency is one of the most difficult one to do!!!!

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  7. There are so many wise words within this post, beginning with the very first "practice what you preach." I also love that you included traditions. They become so much a part of a family's identity and will carry meaning for a lifetime! I'm visiting you from Teach Me Tuesdays. :)

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    1. Thank you so much for your sweet comment.

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  8. Great list! Thanks for sharing!

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